Mad Hattery!: Trooping the Colour 2008

We’ve been looking forward to the prospect of new royal hats at the Trooping of the Colour all week, and we were far from disappointed! The royal ladies were jumping all over the Mad Hattery Scale today with their wacky headwear…

Here we find Sophie, Countess of Wessex, riding in a carriage with the Duchess of Gloucester and their husbands. Sophie’s obviously aiming quite high on the scale today; her wide-brimmed, feather-trimmed hat lands her at LEVEL RED on the scale:

If a stiff wind came up, Sophie would be in serious danger of that hat taking flight. The Duchess was obviously more conservative in her choice of chapeau, with the monochromatic design and the simple band embellishments. Events like these parades and weddings are really the only time we see royals like Richard and Birgitte, so we’re alternately pleased that she chose a fairly pretty hat and disappointed that she didn’t wear a collection of bottle rockets and insects strapped to a headband (with a lack of York princesses, we’re grasping at straws here!). Even so, the hat’s overall size and dimension lands her on the scale at:

We have to be honest; we were a little disappointed that Her Majesty chose a hat that she’d been photographed less than three weeks before. The teal ensemble must be a favorite — though maybe something from the fur and feathers category would have been more comfortable overall … Queen Liz looks a bit chilled with her blanket on her lap! The hat is pretty tame, too — basically what we’d expect from the Queen, except on those rare occasions that she pulls out all the stops and shoves on a crown or a tiara. This basic blue hat with understated band lands HM right along with the Duchess at:

We are, of course, saving the best for last:

Let’s start small, with the hat that our favorite Canadian maple-leaf, Autumn Kelly Phillips, is wearing on the left. (Also, we believe this is the new Mrs. Phillips’s first balcony appearance. Congrats, Autumn!) You know, look past the thing you’re actually looking at and try to see the relatively benign hat choice of the newest member of the royal family. It’s impossible to see if she’s got feathers or pinwheels or whirligigs hanging off the band of her hat, but we’re guessing not.

Here’s a better view: yeah, none of the above on Autumn’s brim, just a two-toned curly ribbony thing.  Her saucer-style brim, though, puts Autumn in company with her new Aunt Sophie:

She’d better watch out if the planes flying over head kick up the breeze.

But, now, to that other thing you’re looking at.

Good work, Wills — we know it’s tempting to glance over at your step-mum, but we’re afraid that staring straight at it would have eclipse-like effects. Yes. So, let’s tally this up, shall we? Feathers? Check. Flowers? Check. Lack of actual hat? Apparently, check. Camilla’s landed herself firmly in fascinator territory with this style statement: we’re not entirely sure that this isn’t growing right out of the back of her head. Also, look at how squinty she is compared to the rest of the hatted-out royal ladies — surely something with some sunshade would have made this whole thing a little easier for the Duchess. Even though we’re mildly terrified by this “hat,” we have to applaud Her Royal Highness — with no Eugenie, no Bea, and no Zara, we’re really glad someone pulled it out and wore something this crazy. We’ll assign her to:

Overall, good show, ladies! Dare we hope that the hat stakes are raised even higher for Garter Day on Monday? We know that the Knights and Ladies will have awesome hats with awesome feathers, but here’s our challenge to Kate Middleton to wear something really outrageous to sit in the audience and watch Wills’s investiture. You can do it, Kate!