Top Ten Trivia: Princesses of Wales (Why Kate Might Not Want to Wait)

The gossip mill has been absolutely churning with rumors of an impending William-Kate engagement since her appearances at the Phillips wedding and Garter Day. We like Kate, and we think that her behavior toward William and in the face of the media makes her seem like a capable woman for the job of future Princess of Wales (and, eventually, queen). But if we were her, we might be a little frightened by some of the history of the position: being the Princess of Wales, historically, is a tough gig. Here’s our list of the ten women who have held the title of Princess of Wales and a look at the challenges they faced — along with some lessons that Ms. Middleton might glean from their examples.

10. Princess Augusta of Saxe-Gotha (POW from 1736-1751): Princess Augusta was one of several women who was the Princess of Wales but never made it to Queen Consort. Born in Germany, Augusta spoke almost no English when she was sent off to Britain at 16 to marry Frederick, Prince of Wales (eldest son of King George II). The marriage apparently turned out just fine, though; the couple had nine children before Frederick died unexpectedly at the age of 44. From then on, her role was mother of the future King George III. Her biggest problem came after her husband’s death; she caused a scandal when she became perhaps a wee bit too close to her son’s tutor, and was roasted by the British press — bad even in the eighteenth century, apparently. When she died, people shouted insults and obscenities at her funeral procession.

Lesson Learned: Keep the tutor in the nursery if you want to keep your reputation intact!

9. Princess May of Teck (POW from 1901-1910): Princess May eventually became better known as Queen Mary, but she did reign as Princess of Wales for nearly ten years in the early twentieth century. May had the bad luck to have her first princely fiance, Albert Victor, die on her before they could get married. She quickly recovered, marrying his younger brother George instead. May had lots of problems to contend with as Princess of Wales. Her children’s nanny was abusive, and her youngest son suffered from epilepsy and was hidden away from the public eye before dying young. Once she became queen, there was the small matter of World War I to be dealt with. When her husband, King George V, died, she had to face her eldest son’s persistent desire to marry divorced American Wallis Simpson. Queen Mary is perhaps most famous for her diva-like tendencies, once requiring ancient ivy to be torn from the walls of a house she was staying in. She often admired an object in a home and then expected it to be given to her as a gift. She also loved jewels, often paying astronomical prices for already valuable collections.

Lesson Learned: Keep your paws off others’ treasures, and stay out of your children’s marriage choices.

8. Joan, Countess of Kent (POW from 1361-1376): Joan, the first Princess of Wales, had it rough from the start. When she was two, her father was executed, and she was placed under house arrest with her mother and siblings. As a teen, she went on a virtual marriage spree, marrying Thomas Holland at 12 and William Montacute at 13, leading to a nasty bigamy charge, intervention from the Pope, and another stint of being locked up in a castle. After it was all resolved and Holland died, Joan married her cousin, the Black Prince. Like Princess Augusta, though, Joan never got to be queen; her husband died unexpectedly at 45. She had more sorrow to endure, though; the sons from her first marriage and those from her royal marriage were soon warring, and she died while trying to convince Richard II not to execute his half-brother.

Lesson Learned: One husband at a time, please.

7. Princess Alexandra of Denmark (POW from 1863-1901): Although Alix had an extremely royal pedigree, this future Princess of Wales and Queen lived a fairly modest life as a child, sleeping in an attic bedroom with her sister, Dagmar. Her royal marriage was an arranged one; she was handpicked by Victoria and Albert for their eldest son, Bertie. Prince Albert died before the wedding, so it was a somber occasion, with all of the women in mourning colors. Soon enough her father had become King of Denmark, her brother King of Greece, and her sister the wife of the heir to the Czar of Russia. These triumphs soon gave way to sadness for Alix. As she had children, all of them born premature, she faced more and more health issues of her own, including permanent disability after the birth of one baby and gradual deafness. She and her husband had differing degrees of estrangement throughout their marriage; he had a string of mistresses, including Lilly Langtry and Alice Keppel (ancestor of another Princess of Wales). Her sister’s husband, the Czar, was assassinated; her nephew, Czar Nicholas II, was murdered along with his family years later. A heart attack finally killed Alexandra at age 80.

Lesson Learned: Put your foot down on the mistress question before it gets out of hand!

6. Anne Neville (POW from 1470-1471): Poor Anne spent most of her life as a pawn in a huge game of political chess. She was married off by her father, the Earl of Warwick, to the Prince of Wales when she was only fifteen. He died not long afterward, and she was handed over to his younger brother, Richard, the next in line to the throne. She and Richard had only one son, and it’s likely that she suffered from tuberculosis. Her son died, and there were rumors that Richard would try to divorce her. She died at the age of 28 and was buried in an unmarked grave at Westminster Abbey.

Lesson Learned: Don’t let your dad push you around — marry whomever you want!

5. Caroline of Brandenburg-Ansbach (POW from 1714-1727): After turning down an offer to marry the King of Spain, Caroline accepted a proposal from the Elector of Hanover, George II. When his father became King of England, she headed to Britain with her husband. Caroline had a stable and happy marriage, giving birth to eight living children, even though he persisted in having mistresses. She was so influential to her husband that many joked that she was the one really running the country. The real thorn in Caroline’s side was her eldest son, Frederick. She meddled in her son’s marriage and grew angry when she learned that his wife had become pregnant. Frederick and Augusta evaded her constantly to avoid her influence, and became completely estranged from her before she died of a rupture of the womb (ouch).

Lesson Learned: Don’t try to control your children; they’ll only hate you.

4. Camilla Shand Parker-Bowles (POW from 2005-present): Though she is technically the Princess of Wales, Camilla Parker-Bowles has chosen to step out of her predecessor’s shadow and use the title Duchess of Cornwall instead. But Princess of Wales she is, the tenth woman to hold the position. Camilla began her royal career much as her great-grandmother, Alice Keppel, had — as a royal mistress. Camilla and Prince Charles fell in love in their twenties, but the royal family disapproved of the match. She had two children with husband Andrew Parker-Bowles, and Charles went on to famously wed Lady Diana Spencer, but the two continued their now-adulterous relationship. Diana called her “the Rottweiler;” Prince Charles called her “Gladys.” When their affair became public, she was embarrassed by the release of private, racy telephone calls between herself and the prince. She was absolutely reviled by the Diana-biased British press, and continues to suffer at the hands of some tabloid magazines. After both Camilla and Charles divorced and Diana was killed, she and Charles began seeing each other publicly. They married in 2005 at Windsor Castle.

Lesson Learned: Marry him the first time around; don’t become a royal mistress!

3. Lady Diana Spencer (POW from 1981-1996): The marriage between Lady Di and Charles, Prince of Wales, seemed doomed from the start. She was a young, naive, virginal girl of 19; he was in love with another woman but agreed to marry the girl the royal family found suitable. Even before the marriage, Diana was hounded by the British press, who followed her every move and trained cameras on her at every possible moment. Their “fairytale” wedding was televised to millions. Diana was wildly popular with the British people, but she suffered her own private angst. She was bulimic and depressed; she had a poor relationship with some of her family, especially stepmother Raine, whom she famously pushed down a flight of stairs. She gave birth to two sons, but soon her marriage was crumbling. Both she and Charles were unfaithful — he with Camilla Parker-Bowles, she with riding instructor James Hewitt. Their relationship disintegrated into a public war in the press, with both parties giving controversial interviews. The Queen ordered them to divorce, and they did in 1996. Diana was killed one year later in a car crash in Paris alongside her lover, Dodi Al-Fayed. Her husband married Camilla in 2005.

Lesson Learned: Get to know your husband before you marry him — don’t jump into things too young!

2. Catherine of Aragon (POW from 1501-1502): The daughter of Spain’s King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella, Princess Catherine was a political prize. King Henry VII, seeking an alliance with Spain, arranged to have her married to his son, Arthur, Prince of Wales. They were married by proxy as children and in person at St. Paul’s Cathedral when both were 15. Whether or not they consummated the marriage is a question that reverberated through history; regardless of the answer, Arthur died less than a year later, and Catherine was left to languish in her father-in-law’s captivity for years. Finally she was married to Arthur’s younger brother, the future King Henry VIII. When their marriage famously produced only a living daughter, Henry had it annulled on grounds that Arthur and Catherine had slept together, over her protest. She was pushed aside so that he could marry his mistress, Anne Boleyn, and she died, probably of cancer, still claiming herself to be the rightful queen.

Lesson Learned: Don’t marry your dead husband’s brother — it can’t end well.

1. Caroline of Brunswick (POW from 1795-1820): Of all the Princesses of Wales, Caroline perhaps had the worst experience of the position. Her husband, the future George IV, had already been married secretly (though invalidly) to Maria Fitzherbert. He thought Caroline was unattractive, disgusting, and not a virgin on their marriage. The two only slept together three times during their entire marriage, though they did manage to produce a daughter, Princess Charlotte. Caroline was denied access to the young princess and was eventually exiled to Montagu House, leaving the country entirely in 1814. She and the prince both carried on affairs. She only found out about her daughter’s death in childbirth through a letter from Charlotte’s widower, Leopold. Caroline returned to Britain when George became king, but she was barred from the coronation. The king asked Parliament to dissolve their marriage and strip Caroline of the title of queen consort. Soon after the coronation, Caroline became extremely ill and died. She thought that she had been poisoned, and the epitaph on her grave in Brunswick names her the “Injured Queen of England.”

Lesson Learned: Marry for love — never for politics.